Saturday, May 31, 2014

Bar Fight

Posted by: Blue

Tonight on my way home after evening shift, I drove past a bar brawl that had spilled into the sidewalk.  I pulled a u-ball and watched from the opposite side of the street in case something went south. It took about 25 seconds before the first crew arrived. 4 more followed, including a Street Supervisor.

They turned on the lights and sirens a few blocks before arrival. The drunks scattered. So did I.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Holy Vegetables

Posted by: Blue

Our domestic arrest from last night was asked at jail if he practiced any particular religion.

He paused, thought for a few seconds, then answered.

"I'm a vegetarian".

JT and I and the two prison guards within earshot paused for a few a seconds while looking back and forth at one another to confirm we had all heard the same thing.

I was the first one to break. We laughed for a good solid minute before the guard was able to compose herself and carry-on with the entrance interview.


Posted by: Blue

Last night, the network server room in HQ overheated. All the police computers went down across the city except our car's CAD, which is on a separate server.

We could be dispatched to calls, but could not do anything once there. No record checks, no license plate running, no reporting, no fingerprinting, no e-mail.

We locked up our domestic arrest old school. Straight to jail with no reports.

I could get used to that.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Fisher-Price Police

Posted by: Blue

Last week, JT and I kicked loose a male we were spot-checking to respond to a baby abandoned and locked in a car.

When we pulled up and peered through the tinted window, we saw a child's plastic baby doll, sitting right where the child had dropped it, beside the car seat.

"What exactly did you see?" I asked.

"Some lady parked and got her stroller out of the trunk. Then she rummaged around in the backseat and left, pushing the stroller." Replied the concerned, furrowed-browed complainant.  "Are you going to have to break the window?"

"I don't think that will be necessary today, fortunately." I replied, leaning my head to speak into my shoulder mic. "Delta two-oh-three, this is a doll that's been trapped in the car. Unconscious, not breathing. No ambulance required."

We got back into the cruiser. There was a message from the dispatcher asking if she should send a Fisher-Price ambulance just to be sure.

I told her if she could get the Little People fire dispatch to answer their phone, it wouldn't hurt.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014


Posted by: Blue

Most of the intoxicated persons we deal with would rather go into the lock-up than the voluntary side of the shelter.

In the tank, they each have their own washrooms (a grate on the floor) and bed mat, as well as a private room with space to stretch out.

In the shelter, they are ass to elbow, staggered like sardines in a can.  The smell is not far off from an old can of fish either.

Monday, May 12, 2014

Mother's Day

Posted by: Blue

Last night we arrested a woman whose two sons had turned her in on breaches.

She was being aggressive with them because she was drunk and they hadn't given her anything for Mother's Day.

She had an abstain clause on her Recognizance. We hooked her and took her direct to jail without stopping for fingerprints. She kicked, spat and cussed us out the whole way there.

Sunday, May 4, 2014

Poopy Pants

Posted by: Blue

The jail was six cars deep in a waiting line for lock-ups two nights ago.

We chatted to the crew beside us. They had a domestic arrest.

He came home with a soiled bottom after drinking too much. When she wouldn't change his pants for him, he beat her and their unborn child to a pulp in front of their four other children.

He was unapologetic and denied being there during the interview, despite the video evidence from the apartment block's security cameras which showed him entering the apartment and later coming out covered in blood.

He's the half brother of one of the most notorious families of assholes our city knows. The family presents a solid case for evolution. They may be the missing link. Apparently not fully human.

Saturday, May 3, 2014


Posted by: Blue

JT and I have exchanged passwords for our computer access cards, contrary to nation-wide RCMP protocol.

It is safer and much more convenient to be able to look someone up on the computer while your partner watches the badguys, whether it's your card in the computer or his.

Don't tell the Feds.