Foray - An initial attempt (especially outside your usual areas of competence)
Tonight is Family Night down at the academy. There will be a bunch of different units 'performing' for all of the kids. Blue will be in uniform. There's a mingling time with refreshments so all the 'other-halfs' can be introduced and all the officers can show-off their children. Blue's mom and step-dad are even coming down to join in the fun.
I'm nervous. I've been thinking about this night for two weeks now. I guess part of me is excited to see what Blue has been up to and have some faces and places to put to stories he's been telling me, but I'm mainly nervous. The Boy has been counting down the days. Waffle yelps out, "Mama, Mcademy!" whenever anyone says the word 'academy'.
I bought a new shirt. I went and got my hair cut last week.
I have a hard time meeting new people. I have a hard time with crowds. I have a horrid time meeting new people in crowds.
I've spent a lot of time moving out of my 'comfort zone' this past year, putting myself out there to know and be known, to like and be liked. It's something that I've always struggled with and I'm finally starting to move past it....kind-of. I've come leaps and bounds from where I used to be, but the idea of being in a situation that is so totally foreign to me with so many strangers to talk to makes me nervous.
So tonight is my first foray into this whole police wife thing. I'll let you know how it goes.
Fake it 'till you make it, right?
You are going to have so much fun! Just remember that most of these people are just as nervous as you are... be the first one to reach out and by extending your hand you are already "likeable"!
ReplyDeleteAsk Blue to introduce you too lots of people and smile smile smile! You are going to have a blast!
Be warned that there might be a lot of talk about "the hardships" of being a LEO's wife... If they do take this route, be assured that it is primarily to weed out anybody who is not fully committed etc. They threw a lot of numbers and statistics at us on family night... just take it all with a grain of salt if they do go that route. The strong survive and by knowing those "numbers and statistics", you can better build hedges to protect your family and marriage :)
Have a great night - smile and have fun!!! *hugs* :)
Yah man. I'm a big faker too. Just do what you gotta do to make it through. :) You might even suprise yourself and have a really great time and meet some nice people. I hope you do. I hope they realise what a gem they have in their police family when you walk in the room. Can't wait to hear how it goes.
ReplyDeleteYou are going to be fine! When we went to family day it was a lot of smiling and introductions but I haven't seen most of those people since lol don't be nervous
ReplyDeleteEverything Mrs. Officer Rev. said! We have a Spouse Academy here, where families get introduced to everything the officers go through - we met once a month, but not once did we hear from a veteran spouse - just cops. A few of us are looking into changing that for the next Academy class.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of things that may be hard to hear (divorce rates, changes in behavior, shift work difficulty), but the one thing The Lion's instructors told him about keeping a happy and intact marriage was to TALK, TALK, TALK to your spouse...Never Stop Talking. (and make sure he has hobbies and friends outside of police work.)
Meeting those other wives is going to be so beneficial - you will need them. My experience would be lacking if I didn't have dinner at least once a month with the wives.
Good Luck!
I'm skeptical of some of the advice offered in the comments section. Like you I've struggled with being shy, especially around new people and in crowds. But after years of trying to "fake it" or force myself to be more outgoing, I'm starting to doubt that this is the best thing to do. I actually think it does more harm than good.
ReplyDeleteWhen I meet new people I don't want to meet a bunch of fake, smiling people, all glancing around trying to maintain their fronts. I'd rather meet some genuine people, be they shy or whatever else.
Why should I necessarily overcome my introvertedness? Since when is faking a social virtue? Why not just be comfortable in my own skin? These are the sort of questions I'm asking lately. Overcoming nervousness or anxiety about social events shouldn't mean I have to try and be someone I'm not, or fit into some one-for-everyone personality mold.