I've started to run into a few different outlooks, or possibly attitudes would be a better way of wording it, from people around us towards the way Blue and I live. Not everyone. There have been many supportive people during this transition, but once-in-awhile I've noticed this seeping in.
It's not that I feel that they don't like the way we live, they just don't understand it.
They don't understand what it's like for Blue to work 10+ hours doing a job that isn't, by any means easy. It's physically, mentally and emotionally demanding. Then he comes home to let his body and mind rest. Then he wakes-up (depending on which shift he's working these can be switched) for a very little bit of down-time, eats something and heads to the station to start over. This routine goes for 5 or 6 days in a row. When he actually does have a set of days off, he's either working a side job or working on our house renovations, trying to get the bulk of them done before Baby Blue gets here in November.
As a wife, I try to support him the best that I can and I'm still learning what this looks like. I try to keep the house somewhat quiet when he needs daytime sleep. I don't ask anything of him when he's on shift. I don't have lists for him to do on top of working 10 hour days. I realize that a lot of my things have to wait until his time off, or I need to do them myself. I've become very independent.
We can't always make it to family dinners, church or time spent with friends. We're no longer weekend warriors. Planning a get-together usually need to be done weeks or months in advance. Unless it's only our immediate family involved, spur-of-the-moment plans are practically non-existent now. The Boy and Waffle can go days without spending significant time with their father. When they're in school they can go his whole evening shift without seeing him (pictures, phone calls and texts have to suffice).
I'm fine with this way of life. More than fine. It's different and unusual, but it has so many perks that it's hard to see the downsides. What I find irritating is when people just can't seem to wrap their minds around the fact that we're okay living like this. It doesn't bother us. Sure, it was an adjustment, but one that we were happy to make. It's not that I expect everyone to understand a life they've never lived, but it's hard to be talked at, or down-to, with this 'you poor dysfunctional family' attitude a lot of the time.
Does anyone else ever get this? How do you deal with it?