Dad

Posted by: Blue

My father died on February 17. He had a sudden pulmonary embolism.

It has been a hard month, but would have been much more difficult without loving co-workers, friends and family.

I have been reminded of the beauty in life and the things I have to be grateful for.

Skunked

Posted by: Blue

I went out fishing for Thursday and Friday.

We portaged a 14' aluminum boat approximately 750 yards into one of Canada's world famous Pickerel (Walleye) lakes, along with an 18HP Evinrude and about 3 times more gear than we needed.

Fished for 2 days straight.  One on the line; couldn't land him before he spit the hook.  No one else even got a bite.

Still better than a good day at work.

Gone Fishin'

Posted by: Blue

I just got back from 4 days on my favourite lake with 4 of my best friends.

I am relaxed.

Tomorrow I'm in court bright and early.  Nights start Tuesday.

Different Kind of Life

I've started to run into a few different outlooks, or possibly attitudes would be a better way of wording it, from people around us towards the way Blue and I live. Not everyone. There have been many supportive people during this transition, but once-in-awhile I've noticed this seeping in.

It's not that I feel that they don't like the way we live, they just don't understand it.

They don't understand what it's like for Blue to work 10+ hours doing a job that isn't, by any means easy. It's physically, mentally and emotionally demanding. Then he comes home to let his body and mind rest. Then he wakes-up (depending on which shift he's working these can be switched) for a very little bit of down-time, eats something and heads to the station to start over. This routine goes for 5 or 6 days in a row. When he actually does have a set of days off, he's either working a side job or working on our house renovations, trying to get the bulk of them done before Baby Blue gets here in November.

As a wife, I try to support him the best that I can and I'm still learning what this looks like. I try to keep the house somewhat quiet when he needs daytime sleep. I don't ask anything of him when he's on shift. I don't have lists for him to do on top of working 10 hour days. I realize that a lot of my things have to wait until his time off, or I need to do them myself. I've become very independent.

We can't always make it to family dinners, church or time spent with friends. We're no longer weekend warriors. Planning a get-together usually need to be done weeks or months in advance. Unless it's only our immediate family involved, spur-of-the-moment plans are practically non-existent now. The Boy and Waffle can go days without spending significant time with their father. When they're in school they can go his whole evening shift without seeing him (pictures, phone calls and texts have to suffice).

I'm fine with this way of life. More than fine. It's different and unusual, but it has so many perks that it's hard to see the downsides. What I find irritating is when people just can't seem to wrap their minds around the fact that we're okay living like this. It doesn't bother us. Sure, it was an adjustment, but one that we were happy to make. It's not that I expect everyone to understand a life they've never lived, but it's hard to be talked at, or down-to, with this 'you poor dysfunctional family' attitude a lot of the time.

Does anyone else ever get this? How do you deal with it?

Cheque's in the Mail

Posted by: Blue

A friend of mine and her pal found a Ziploc bag full of money on the sidewalk on a busy street corner on Halloween 2011.  She turned it in to the police station.

I told a number of people her story.  Their responses were generally puzzled and sometimes even indignant that she hadn't pocketed the dough.

Yesterday she told me that the time limit had expired for the person who lost it to claim it.

She and her friend will be splitting the $5000.00 cheque that the Service is mailing to her 50/50.

Guess it's not so crazy to do the right thing.

The 11th Hour

Posted by: Blue

Well...

Less than 4 weeks left.

I will officially be posted to field training by the 21st.  I'm not sure just yet how my shifts will look, but I am hoping for "B-side" (the second set of shifts who are on when A-side is off; see 4-10) .  I hope that my marks will grease the wheels in that direction.  I've made some good friends who all seem to be headed for B-side, including some excellent instructors and training officers.

I've got to admit, I'm feeling slightly apprehensive about being on the street for the first time.  I will have my gun, badge, OC spray, and ID card issued on the second-last day of classes.  Then within a few days, I am off to my second call.

We have had a few very interesting lectures in the past few weeks, including two officers who had been involved in lethal-force encounters.  Both officers had shot and killed their suspects.  One was 8 weeks out of the academy.  A sobering thought.

Last week we had some training with fighting and use-of-force.  One of the days we were given blue-guns (a working pistol by the same manufacturer as our service pistol that shoots blanks and Simunition rounds), and we ran through a number of encounters from suicidals to knives to compliant people to shoot-outs.  It was the first time any of us had pointed a gun at another human.  It was also the first time that I found myself picturing a person dead by my hand.  I hope and pray that I never have to take that life.

On a lighter note, this past weekend was a long one for us.  I went camping with some friends from academy.  We probably all should have been studying for tomorrow's test, but we couldn't help ourselves.  I brought my leaky old boat with my faithful 1972 motor, and we managed to catch our lunch one day.  Two big Pickerel (Though I think any of you Yankees reading might know them as Walleye).  It rained most of the weekend, but we made the best of it.  I love these new friends and comrades.  One thing is certain: I know I can trust each and every one of them with my life.  That's a reassuring feeling.

I'm really interested, given my impending street-baptism, to hear some stories of your first days out there, and what it feels like to "go live" for the first time.  Hope you're all having a good day.

Cheers

And what do YOU think about it?

We kept the fact that Blue was trying out for the cops to ourselves for quite awhile, telling only very close friends and some family. Eventually though, when Blue had made it far enough into the process, it became common knowledge to most of the people we associate with.

People would excitedly ask Blue all sorts of questions about the job change.

How long is training?

When do you start?

What do you want to do when you get in?

Are you excited?

Do you get Tasered?

They'd go on and on, eating-up every little bit of information.

Then, more often than not, they'd turn to me and with a 'you poor thing' look in their eye and they'd ask, "And what do YOU think about it?" They were sharing in Blue's excitement and 'sharing' in my depression and anxiety, except that I wasn't depressed or anxious. It was as though they were expecting that I hadn't really given it much thought, or if I had thought it through, that I thought it was the worst idea known to mankind.

I kept on getting this reaction from people time and time again and I wondered why. I mean, I know I'm  blonde and all, but I AM capable of thinking through these major life decisions and discussing them with my husband. It's not like Blue would just up and decided to be a cop without EVER talking to me about it. And do you really think that he would go for something that I'm totally against? I guess maybe they did.

The truth is, Blue and I had spent hours upon hours talking about this change, weighing it all out. Blue had gone and talked to a detective that is currently on the force to ask him some questions about what life is like working as an officer. We both read some books about policing and we went over to Blue's "uncle's" house, who was on the force for 20 years, and chatted with him and his wife about their experience with the job. We got lots of good advice. Blue and I spent a lot of time calculating the possible affect this would have on him, myself and our family as a whole. 

I felt like we were entering into this change as educated and prepared as we could be so it always came as a surprise to me when people would ask that question (like that) and give that look. To be honest, it was always a worrisome look. It made me feel uneasy because I would second guess myself. I thought that maybe I shouldn't be as excited or supportive of this change. Maybe I'd overlooked some crucial piece of information.

Maybe they knew something I didn't...

Enjoying the Lull

We are heading out to a big cottage with a few other families to enjoy some of the down time we have before Blue starts Academy. We thought it would be nice to spend time together as a family without any distractions right before we tackle this huge change. I can't wait to get out there, relax and take a breather.


It has a hot tub. I'm happy.