Wednesday, November 16, 2011


Posted by: Blue

Two days ago, I was temporarily assigned (TA'd) to the downtown division for the night.  I took a false alarm commercial hold-up alarm and then we were assigned to a disturbance at a nearby restaurant.

We arrived on scene to find a beligerent male who had tried to pay for his meal with a credit card.  The transaction was declined and the male became agitated when the manager asked him if he remembered his PIN.

Long story short, this guy had stolen a credit card from his newly deceased roommate and decided to go out for a night on the town. 

Identity theft and idetity fraud are a little tricky to write-up, but my task was made even more difficult as the accused kept pestering us to use the bathroom every few minutes.

After the third time in the bathroom in less than 20 minutes, he had the audacity to ask me what was taking so long and why he wasn't on his way to Provincial Remand yet.  I told him that if he could hold his bowels for more than 4 minutes at a time, I might be able to finish briefing my Sgt. and get on with my reports.

The accused looked me square in the eye and said "It's that damn 'Paki' food.  It gave me diarrhea.  I'm never going back there."

I told him that he was most assuredly less than welcome anyway, as he had stolen his meal that night and then made an ass of himself first with the staff and then with my partner and I.  I then proceeded to explain to him that the family restaurant which he had ingratiatingly attempted to defraud with a credit card belonging to the estate of a recently deceased friend and cancer patient was in fact East Indian in race, and it would behove a gentleman in his position to keep a civil tongue in his head as I was getting tired of potty-training at the moment.

He told me that he was glad I was doing my job so well and that it was just what God wanted me to do.  He said that he had it all planned out, because he had been evicted of late by the "landlady from hell" and he was looking forward to staying in the "Remand Hotel".

I told him that I was glad that he was excited to go to jail, but that it was the taxpayers of the Province sending him there due to his crimes, not God.

Some people just don't get it.

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