Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Directing Traffic

Posted by: Blue

When a 6'5", 230lb police officer wearing a gun and a bright neon green yellow reflective, full length raincoat that says "POLICE" in bright blue reflective material is standing in the middle of an intersection in the pouring rain with a partner who is similarly clad with a brilliant white and black police car blocking two lanes, LED light bar flashing blue and red with alternating wig-wags (definition courtesy of Wikipedia) and that police officer is pointing directly at you and making eye contact, telling you to turn left or right, do not ask if you can go straight with some kind of Neanderthal/ape hand gestures while idling your car in the intersection, blocking any other people with even half a brain in their heads from actually getting where they need to go.

The aforementioned officer may just not be in the mood for you to totally ignore him and try to mime out an argument.

Other things not to do:

  1. Roll down your window and ask what is going on
  2. Roll down your window and ask if we are busy or if we have time to listen to your problem with how your neighbour mows his lawn
  3. Roll down your window and ask anything else
  4. Swerve back and forth between lanes in an erratic manner
  5. Give the officer the finger
  6. Talk on your cell phone while driving past (at least pretend to have some respect for the fact that I'm right friggin there)
  7. Honk
  8. Flash your lights at me
  9. Play your stereo at such an ungodly high volume that there is no way you can tell when I am hollering at you
  10. Slow down and gawk while veering into the next lane because you're not focused on where you are driving

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